Is calling your mum ‘productive’?
There’s a familiar energy that shows up around back-to-school time (in September for those of us in the UK).
A sense of settling back into routine. Early mornings. New timetables. That feeling of getting stuck back into things as the weather turns from lazy summer heat to misty, autumnal earthiness.
Making Progress!
Being Productive!!!
Whether you have children or not, this time of year tends to invite a collective reset. A quiet (or not-so-quiet) pressure to get back on track. To make good use of time. To do things that count.
But what is being productive, exactly?
What do we actually mean by “productive”?
Historically, productivity has meant different things depending on the era.
In ancient times, it was about farming and crafting - getting enough food and goods to survive. With the Industrial Revolution, productivity became about producing as much as possible in factories, in as little time as possible. The 20th century shifted this again, towards office work and using technology for maximum output.
These societal, economic, and cultural forces have quietly shaped how we judge productivity in our own lives - often without us realising.
The hidden beliefs behind how we use our time
I’m currently working with an incredibly smart and successful client on changing how they spend their time.
They want to spend more time on things that resource them - rest, exercise, hobbies, seeing friends. More time being present with their children. More time with their partner. And still make progress in their career and on a growing list of home projects.
(I’m guessing you can probably relate.)
On the surface, it sounds straightforward. Within the limitations of work hours, school runs, and general life admin… just change how you spend your time, right?
But as you’ve probably discovered for yourself, it’s rarely that simple.
This is because the way we assess how we spend our time is driven by unconscious beliefs - especially beliefs about what counts as productive.
One belief we uncovered for this client was about which activities could be classed as productive.
You can probably guess what it was, but I’ll spell it out:
Work and home projects were productive.
Everything else wasn’t.
With “spending time on myself” sitting right at the bottom of the pile.
When that belief is paired with ideas like you should be productive, it’s better to be productive, or it’s lazy to NOT be productive - well… how very convenient for those who benefit from our labour 🤨.
Less convenient for our physical and mental health. Or our children. Or our partners, friends, and wider family.
But hey - at least the house looks nice 🤣
When calling your mum doesn’t “count”
A couple of days later, I was in a co-working session with a new CEO, in the first week of her role.
She was clear about what she wanted to do in our session:
Ring her mother - awkward, but important
Clear out her inbox after a flood of first-week emails
If time allowed, reflect on what she’d learned so far and map it out on paper
She knew what mattered most. She even predicted she probably wouldn’t finish the third task.
At the end of the session, I asked how it had gone.
She told me - visibly anxious - that it hadn’t gone well.
She’d called her mother.
She’d cleared her emails.
She hadn’t finished the reflection exercise.
Which, when you look at what she’d planned to do… was exactly what she’d expected.
And yet she was berating herself. The call with her mother had gone well, she said - but it had been a waste of time.
Two hours earlier, it had been her top priority.
What changed?
“It wasn’t productive,” she told me.
A gentle invitation to rethink productivity
If this resonates, I invite you to set aside ten minutes to reflect or journal on your own beliefs around productivity.
It can be surprisingly revealing to explore this with a partner or with children too - your definitions of what “counts” may be very different.
Here are a few prompts to get you started (pick and choose what speaks to you):
What activities do you consider productive?
What activities don’t feel productive?
Who decides what’s productive - and how?
Take three of your “non-productive” activities. In what ways might these actually be productive?
What’s the difference, for you, between important and productive?
If you feel like sharing what comes up, I’d genuinely love to hear your reflections.
And wherever you are in the year, remember - it’s not just the ticking things off that matters. Sometimes stepping outside, picking up the phone, or doing the thing that nourishes a relationship is the most productive use of time there is.
With love,
Mia x
If you’d like more reflections like this, I share them in my weekly e-letter - little love letters with stories, questions to sit with, and gentle reminders to step off the hamster wheel. You can join below 👇.
