Should You Make Resolutions? I Genuinely Don’t Care.
Soooooo. It’s a new year.
Which means I am apparently contractually obliged to tell you whether you should make resolutions, shouldn’t make resolutions, should set goals, shouldn’t try to improve yourself, should burn your planner in a ceremonial fire, or should become a monk.
Frankly?
Do whatever the hell you want. 🤣
If you love the fresh-start, clean-page, ooh maybe this is the year I finally become someone who enjoys wild swimmingenergy - ride that thing like it’s a bucking bronco until it throws you off somewhere in February. I fully support you.
If resolutions make you feel bad about yourself… well, duh. Don’t make them. That’s not radical. That’s just… sensible.
Honestly, the anti-New Year bandwagon has absolutely become a bandwagon in its own right, and it’s just as bloody smug as the original ‘5am-club’* ** lot.
Apparently now even not making resolutions has become a competitive sport. The idea that there’s one correct way to experience January is just… meh.
You don’t need optimising
Here’s the thing.
You don’t need optimising like some AI-driven app that selects the perfect soup for you based on how your bangs are sitting and whether Mercury is in retrograde.
You’re already ok, love.
And - and this is important - you are also allowed to want things to be different.
You’re allowed to try new stuff.
You’re allowed to make plans that might not work.
You’re allowed to change your mind.
It’s literally in the name of my practice: Change Foundry. I’m pro-change, but anti–self-flagellation.
(Self Flagellation would have been a very hard-to-market business name. The logo would have been interesting though…)
The one where I get my pants in a wad
This came up for me recently with my son.
School flagged his reading comprehension and I immediately got my pants in a wad, obviously.
Have I failed as a parent?
Is it because we mostly read Dragon Ball manga at bedtime?
Should I maybe not have told him that his current school reading book totally sucks?
When we spoke to the teacher, she said something that really stuck:
He is absolutely fine.
If we did nothing at all, he’d be fine.
But he has the potential to be more than fine - so… why not support that?
WELL! When you put it like that…
Not: something is wrong.
But: there’s room to grow, if we want to (and still read manga).
Honesty, not optimisation
I’ve been thinking about that a lot as I look at my own plans for this year.
I’m not focussing on ‘improving’ myself (why would I, when I’m already so awesome 🤣) - I’m focussing on living more honestly.
Here’s some radical honesty - last year had some genuinely tough stuff in it, and I… avoided a lot. Feelings, social things, LIFE. Which is understandable… but also comes with a cost.
Because when you avoid the hard stuff, you usually end up avoiding the good stuff too.
So some of my plans this year are about practising being uncomfortable instead of disappearing. About being honest about where I am right now. Honest about what living a good life means to me. Honest about what that’s going to take. Honest about my capacity.
For example (because who doesn’t love a good nose around someone else’s life 🤣), I’ve been thinking about what being a good parent actually means to me. I’m not losing sleep over serving chicken nuggets two nights in a row - but I am a) not getting us to bed on time when I KNOW how important sleep is, b) wanting to support his schoolwork more (well, not really, BUT I’M GOING TO DO IT), and c) wanting to plan more things we can do together after school that aren’t just grinding for three hours on the latest Roblox game (I bet my brainrots are better than yours though 🤣).
I’ve had a good think about what tends to trip me up, and what I need to change to make this happen.
That’s not optimisation.
That’s honesty.
If this year wasn’t the plan
And I also want to say this.
For some of you - those who entered this year carrying a life you didn’t plan - this year might not be about purpose, vision boards, or a bold new story.
This year might simply be about working out where the bloody hell you are now, and learning how to live here.
No reinvention required.
No five-year plan.
Just… orientation.
That matters too.
So here’s my completely unofficial, deeply unscientific guidance for January:
Want to make big plans? Be my guest.
Want to pretend it isn’t happening? Also fine.
Want to gently take stock of where you are? Excellent choice.
Want to do all three in the same week? Extremely on-brand for a human.
There is no correct way to start a year.
Just don’t use it as another stick to beat yourself with.
With completely un-optimised love,
Mia x
* No, not the fun kind of 5am club.
** Also, I actually get up at 5am and I am bloody smug about it. Being smug gives me something to do while everyone else is in bed.
If you’d like more reflections like this, I share them in my weekly e-letter - little love letters with stories, questions to sit with, and gentle reminders to step off the hamster wheel. You can join below👇 .
